Pigeon-holing people is never a good idea and stereotyping has the potential to be quite harmful. But at the same time, stoners in general tend to fit quite nicely and neatly into a bunch of categories you’ll no doubt be familiar with.
So next time you find yourself in any kind of organised or random smoking session, take a look around you and see just how many of your friends fit into the following 10 brackets:
1 – King/Queen Paranoia
There’s definitely one of these guys in every stone a circle – the one that just doesn’t seem to be able to chill the hell out and enjoy themselves. They question everything they say, how much they have smoked, how they are behaving and are convinced that something is wrong, even though it clearly isn’t.
2 – The Klutz
Sometimes funny, sometimes annoying – this is the stoner that doesn’t seem to be able to make a move without knocking something over or breaking something. They knock over the bong, they snap the joint, they spill their drink on your stash…you know the type.
3 – The Inventor
One of the best stoners in the world to smoke with, the inventor is the guy who is completely unsatisfied with standard smoking paraphernalia and insist on constantly creating his own, using anything and everything he can lay his hands on.
4 – The Chemist
Up next is the kind of stoner that’s well and truly obsessed with mixing as many different types of smokables together to create the kinds of cocktails that really pack a wallop. It’s hit and miss as to whether they get it right, but when they do…crikey!
5 – The Faker
There’s usually one of these in every group too – the kind that manages to go practically the entire night without taking a single hit, or at least not bothering to inhale. Sometimes it is due to the fact that they’re a complete lightweight – others are just faking it for reasons only they know.
6 – The Teacher
Again, sometimes interesting though often quite annoying. The teacher is the kind of stoner who spends most of their time telling everyone else how they should be doing everything they are doing. They know how to roll the best joints, they tell you how to take a hit ‘properly’ and there’s nothing they don’t know about every strain in the universe.
7 – The Older Guy
It’s also usually true to say that every smoking circle has at least one guy in it who’s old enough to be the dad (or even the granddad) of the younger members. And they also tend to be the absolute legends and heroes of the group. After all, if they’ve been smoking cannabis since before you were walking and talking…well, let’s just say there’s priceless wisdom to be shared!
8 – The Liar
Usually one of the most entertaining types of stoners to smoke with, the liar is the fellow in the group who tries to convince you and everyone else that they aren’t well and truly battered, when it’s pretty obvious they’re through the roof.
9 – The Game-Maker
You know that guy that’s always thinking of literally ANYTHING to do ‘on weed’ that’s bound to be way more fun than it is in the normal world? Yep…we all do, these are the game-makers. And there’s no denying they sometimes get it totally right too!
10 – The Magician
Last but not least, there is almost always somebody in every stoner circle who seems to pull an extraordinary magic act by randomly vanishing at some point during the session, without anybody noticing. One minute they’re there, only for you to notice an hour or so later they’ve disappeared – walked home, hit the hay or whatever…pure stealth.