If we’re honest, every single one of us fits into a certain bracket/category when it comes to the type of stoner we are. However, if you get the suspicion you fall into any of these brackets…well, many apologies, but chances are you’re one of the more annoying stoners to hang out with!
1 – Bowl Torchers
First of all, if you don’t know the meaning of sharing when it comes to a heavily-packed bowl, you deserve to be talked about behind your back. If the bowl is loaded with more than enough to serve up a handful of good hits, putting an inferno to it and blazing it all yourself is a big no-no.
2 – Story-Tellers
Stoners who tell stories can be awesome to hang out with. By contrast, stoners who tell stories and don’t shut up long enough to pass the joint along are seriously annoying. They take a hit, they start their story, take another hit, keep talking, let the joint burn down some more, take a hit…
3 – The Soggy Gob
Everyone will deny it, but somebody in the circle had to be the moron that dribbled all over the joint and made it completely disgusting for everyone else. It’s unforgivable and there’s no excuse…don’t be the soggy gob stoner!
4 – The ‘Man I’m Wasted’ Stoner
Yes. Right. We Know. You’re high. So is everyone else. But guess what? The more attention you draw to it, the less everyone gets to enjoy it! Letting folk know you’re baked once or twice, fine. Going on and on and on and on and on and on about how high you are on the other hand…please, just leave.
5 – The Rule-Breaker
Puff, puff, pass? Not as far as these guys are concerned – they slip an extra few short yet hugely powerful puffs into the passing process meaning they actually score about five hits to everyone else’s two. Unless for whatever the reason you have the agreed rights to make with the heavy-hitting, don’t.
6 – The Ash Dropper
Come on…if it’s obvious it’s about to drop, tap it before you pass it! There’s nothing more annoying that being handed a joint that’s clearly about to shed about a half-ton of ash all over your jeans, just because the guy before you couldn’t be bothered to deal with it.
7 – The Musician
No doubt about it, live music can be awesome at almost any time. Good live music, anyway. There’s little more annoying than the guy who thinks he can sing (though clearly can’t) and knows three chords on a beat-up old guitar, bursting into song at the top of his voice and completely annihilating the conversation going on.
8 – The Deep Guy
Oh dear...buzz go bye-bye. There’s always someone who decides at the worst possible time to start the kind of deep conversation you really don’t want to hear about right now. Their troubled past, their inner-demons, their dark secrets. Just because you’re high doesn’t make it any less of a buzz-kill…probably even more-so!
9 – The Coach
Is there anything worse that someone watching over your shoulder while you’re rolling, commenting on every damn thing you do and telling you how awesome they are in general? Probably, but in these kinds of instances, not much.
10 – The Thief
Last but not least, you know how after almost every session there’s at least something that’s mysteriously gone missing? Well, logic tells you it has to have gone somewhere, meaning that someone in the group is a thief. Not intentionally of course, but there’s usually at least one guy who never fails to ‘accidentally’ pocket lighters, papers and all manner of other accessories, without even realising what they’re doing.