When a non-stoner tells you a weed hangover is nothing compared to the beer variety, you’d love to poke them in the eyes with a sharp stick, right? There’s little that feels worse that waking up with a mouth like the Sahara, blood-red eyes and a bunch of semi-mates that for some reason are still eating your food and playing on your Xbox. While the crippling physical ailments might not be quite as debilitating as a chronic booze comedown, the feeling of defeat and pure apathy is one that’s totally depressing.
At this stage you have two choices – bitch and whine all day about how horrid you feel, or do something about it. Time’s a great healer, but this doesn’t mean you can’t help things along…if only a bit, anyway.
Here’s a look at seven of the best tried, tested and verified tips for banishing weed hangovers sooner rather than later:
1 – Take a Vow
First of all, promise outright that no matter what happens, no more pot for 24 hours. You think it might make you feel better to blaze one right now, but really you’ll just delay the inevitable and prolong the comedown. If you’re really in a state, no weed, all day…you hear?
2 – Kill the Silence
You might think that silence or atmospheric background music is all you deserve right now, but it’ll do nothing at all for your mood. Instead, reach for something a bit more lively and uplifting – the kind of stuff you’d normally listen to while right in the peak of the good times. It’ll trigger the good good stuff in your brain, trust us on that one.
3 – Jesus Juice
Start knocking back the orange juice from as early as possible in the day, though be sure to drink slowly and constantly…don’t just chug the whole carton. Packed with vitamins and natural sugars, it’ll start putting back into your body all the stuff it needs while hydrating you at the same time. The fact that it tastes better than water is also a bonus.
4 – Go Eat Something You Shouldn’t
Some say the greasy breakfast cliché is one that’s not necessary…they’re wrong. At this stage, your body is craving the fast energy it needs to repair at least some of the damage you did the day before – those Golden Arches always have the solution. One key tip here though is to never confuse your need for junk food with a need to eat more than you normally would. Eat something of a sensible size rather than just pigging out – the latter will make you feel even worse.
5 – Clean Up and Strip Down
Get rid of as much evidence from the night before as possible, making the place look a little like it would if you were having your parents over for a visit. Open the windows, freshen the whole place up and spend a few hours lying around in your underwear.
6 – Watch Some Trash
Devote some time to watching the kind of trash you’d either never normally have time to or would at least lie about. From cartoons to the shows you were into when you were 12, your brain’s having a hard time coping with anything too adult right now so spoon-feed it something easy.
7 – Make a Few Phone Calls
Last but not least, even if every fibre of your being tells you that you don’t want to chat with your parents, grandparents or mates right now, making a few calls can work wonders. Why? Well, not only will it force you to pretend you’re feeling fine, but you won’t be able to talk or even think about the awful things you got up to last night. In doing so, you’ll ease your brain away from yesterday and more toward a slightly less painful tomorrow. You’re basically playing a trick on your own brain, which is kinda cool!